February 2012
3 posts
7 tags
Santorum's Plan to Harm Impoverished Women...
It is well documented that Rick Santorum hates women. Especially women who don’t constantly have babies. Santorum has stated in several speeches and interviews that birth control doesn’t work and that it “is harmful to women” and the country.
However, in a recent interview with Charlie Rose last week Santorum brought up the issue of Title X, a controversial bill that provides poor women...
Best and Worst 2012 Super Bowl Ads
This Superbowl might go down as one of the greatest in history but, did the commercials hold up to the quality of the game? Eh, I think not. This year didn’t have a stand-out commercial like last year with ‘The Force’. (A commercial that is still getting play on YouTube.) I still don’t know what GE wants from me or how I can help the people in their commercials, and if...
January 2012
11 posts
8 tags
Herman Cain Endorses Newt by Using the Term...
Herman Cain has endorsed Newt Gingrich for President and in typical Herman Cain style he could not resist saying something stupidly pizza related:
Here are the facts, no one says sausage grinder. The colloquial term is meat grinder. But for some reason Herman Cain decided to specifically call politics a ‘sausage-grinder’. And he didn’t just say this once…he said this...
11 tags
Iran Afraid of Dolls, Barbie Insurgency Continues
Iran has delivered another blow to the Barbie Insurgency by shutting down toy stores daring to sell the filthy American dolls. For decades these domestic doll terrorists have been infiltrating Iran’s borders! According to Iran’s judiciary Barbie and Ken are “dangerous” and “destructive” like a “Trojan Horse sneaking in Western influences like makeup and...
4 tags
Murray's Cheeses: The Campaign for a More...
If anyone’s seen me at an open mic recently they already know that I had some beef with Murray’s cheeses. (What a line!) Here’s a very brief audio version of my complaint. (WARNING: The recording is loud, please lower your speakers)
Did you listen? 8PM!!! That’s way too early for a cheese shop to close. So I wrote Murray’s Cheeses a letter. And here it is:
Dear Murray’s Cheeses, Let me begin...
9 tags
Mitt Romney's Presidential Campaign Ruined Because...
Newt Gingrich, self-proclaimed legitimate Presidential candidate, has been flexing his muscles in South Carolina by attacking the current Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney. It has proven difficult to attack Romney on the basis political platform and policy because frankly people don’t care about that. But there is one thing that Newt knows everyone in America cares about. Hating French...
Epsiode 1 of Unbelievable Podcast Available Now!
Comedian Leo Martin and I have started a podcast where we interview people who hold fringe beliefs, viewpoints, philosophies or conspiracy theories. The first episode is up now where we interviewed a 9/11 Conspiracy Theorist.
Check it out here.
Herman Cain Refuses to Leave America Alone, Starts...
After a month of inexplicable absence from the political spotlight Herman Cain has returned in full force by announcing on ‘Hannity’ that he will be launching a unique and not at all obnoxious bus tour to tout his grand unified theory of taxation summed up as the 9-9-9 tax plan.
Many so-called critics are saying, ‘Bus tour? Didn’t Sarah Palin already try that?.’ To...
Shows This Week!
Tuesday January 3rd -The Short Bus - The Creek and the Cave - LIC
Wednesday January 4th - Future Girlfriend - 9 Bleecker
Thursday January 5th - Some Show in Jersey - New Jersey
Saturday January 7th - Thunderbird Comedy Show - Grisly Pear
Monday January 9th - Level 6 Improv Show - The Magnet Theater
December 2011
9 posts
Top 10 Best (Worst) Names in Congress
This is a call to action. By now most of the country realizes that the system is broken. The entire electorate is a farce yet much of our Congress continues to be filled with people who have serious sounding names like Scott P. Brown and Carl Levin. What many don’t realize is that our Congress has a small but powerful minority of comically named politicians that make names like Barack...
Loukanikos, Athens' Protest Dog →
Tell me this isn’t one of the best things you’ve ever seen.
Sign this Petition If You Like Justice! If You're... →
Sen. Bernie Sanders has proposed a constitutional amendment that would overturn the Supreme Court decision in a case called Citizens United vs. FEC.
The Saving American Democracy Amendment states that:
Corporations are not persons with constitutional rights equal to real people.
Corporations are subject to regulation by the people.
Corporations may not make campaign contributions.
...
Shows This Weekend!
68 Jay St Bar - Thursday Dec. 8th - 8:30PM
The TigerSharks on Couples Retreat at The PIT - Friday Dec. 9th - 8PM
Gotham Comedy Club - Saturday Dec. 10th - 7:30PM
What Should Occupy Wall Street Do Next?
This was a comment in reply to Occupy Wall Streets initial call to action. I think it’s points (besides single payer system) are definitely achievable. The marches were great for public rallying and awareness but now I think its time to stop protesting and start taking action and these points are a good place to start:
[-] 1of99 10 points 2 months ago
You need to have specific,...
November 2011
3 posts
5 tags
11 tags
You Can't Stop Us Because We're The Kids
How Occupying Foley Square was one of the most moving, impressive and ridiculous moments of my life
There were thousands of us occupying Foley Square. People were standing shoulder to shoulder listening (over a PA system) to the speeches, announcements and performances happening on a makeshift stage at the park’s south end. We were all waiting to march over the Brooklyn Bridge in...
Nothing Is Good Moves to Tumblr
I’ve moved Nothing is Good to Tumblr so I can follow people and they can follow me. The Internet Wins!
October 2011
1 post
I Got Joke of The Week in TimeOut NY
This was from late October
Everybody wants a beach body. But people get upset when one washes up on shore.
Brian Frange plays Cold Soda Sun 23.
http://newyork.timeout.com/music-nightlife/comedy/2095267/joke-of-the-week-brian-frange
August 2011
2 posts
Rick Perry Defeats Science, Ends Global Warming
Written by Dave Kettletaco, Global Warming Skeptic
Last night, future President Rick Perry stood up against God’s greatest enemy; science by debunking the far-fetched notion that human activity can affect the Earth. In an interview Rick ‘Hair Club for Men’ Perry called global warming an unproven, costly theory that has been advanced by scientists manipulating the data. It...
EPISODE V: The Defense of Marriage Act Strikes...
Written by Ray Gill, DOMA Supporter
Have you heard the good news? Well, yes Jesus loves you. But have you heard the even better news? The Defense of Marriage Act is back! And this time it’s destroying the life of a gay man named Anthony Makk by deporting his wallaby-loving ass to Australia after 19 years as he attempts to care for his AIDs stricken husband. Hallelujah! Nothing like...
July 2011
1 post
Ohio Governor Blasts Doggone Varmint Liberals By...
Written by Yosemite Sam, 2nd Amendment Activist
Yee-haw! Yosemite Sam here, the roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest cowboy ever to pack a six-shooter. And I’m here to congratulate Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich for signing a bill that allows gun-totin’ Americans like me to carry concealed weapons into bars and other places where alcohol is served. Now those flea-bitten...
The Lady Who Spilled Wine on Glenn Beck Deserves...
Written by Grant Donaldson, Glenn Beck Loyalist
On Monday night a couple of devious, lefty-liberal WHORES came within inches of murdering Glenn Beck and his entire family as they quietly and peacefully watched Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps at Bryant Park Movie Night in New York. Since then Glenn Beck loyalists, such as myself, have been dutifully harassing the 25-year-old vandal over the...
June 2011
5 posts
Your Baby's Circumcision Has Ruined America
Written by Stan Groder, Uncircumcised Activist
Circumcisions! The Jewish and Muslim practice of removing an infant’s foreskin after birth has been infecting our society by keeping babies from getting gross penis infections for far too long! I am proud to report that today, in an effort to balance the budget, Colorado passed a bill that will cut funding for circumcisions under Medicaid....
Only YOU Can Prevent Mexicans From Starting Forest...
Written by Smokey The Racist Bear, Forest Fire Prevention Spokesbear
Hello! It’s me Smokey the Racist Bear here to remind you about the dangers of filthy, freeloading Mexicans and their incessant need to burn down America’s wild lands. Sadly, my reminder may be coming a bit too late. As we speak wildfires are raging across Arizona leading Sen. John McCain to unequivocally prove...
David Tyree Hates Gay People And So Should You!
Written by Robert Carter, National Organization for Marriage
As many of you already know New York State is notoriously close to passing a bill that will legalize gay marriage. In protest the National Organization for Marriage has sought out celebrities to speak in defiance of this debauchery. Being that we could not find any celebrities we settled with interviewing David Tyree, fourth string...
Crackheads Need Welfare Money Too, Florida
Written by Dipper, Crackhead/Florida Native
Hello. I am from Florida. I am on welfare. I smoke crack. Fuck you. I’ve never written a blog before. But I know what a computer is. So fuck you. Our goblin looking Governor Rick Scott is making adults applying for welfare get drug tested. So now if I fail a drug test then POOF no more welfare checks. Do you know what will happen if you stop...
May 2011
6 posts
Oil Companies: We Need Money More Than You Do
Written by Oscar Blunt, Texas Oil Tycoon
In yet another example of government taking advantage of the oppressed minority that is rich billionaires, the Socialist bastards in Congress are trying to take away tax breaks for oil companies. These un-American Communists are trying to discriminate against us by no longer discriminating for us and I won’t stand for it!
We need those...
Al Qaeda: We Are Not Ashamed of Threatening...
Written by Fahid Shaikh Al-Mughassil, Al Qaeda Terrorist
After the death of the Sheikh! Osama bin Laden I have vowed to exact revenge on America. You might recall the official statement from AQAP saying, ‘What is waiting for you is far greater and more dangerous, and you will then count your regrets, wishing for the days of Osama.’ Well now our devious, world-destructing plan is...
I Get to See Osama Photos and You Don't!
Written by Russ Chandler, Member of Congress
A select group of very important members of Congress are getting the privilege to view the coveted Osama bin Laden death photos. I am elated to announce that I am one of the few to be placed on the ultra-exclusive guest list to attend the viewing at CIA headquarters. I’ve always had a hunch that I was more important than most people and now...
Pakistan: We're Still Deciding Between Evil and...
Written by Makhdoom Raza Ghurki, Pakistani Government Official
Since the death of Osama Bin Laden many have been questioning where Pakistan’s loyalty lies on the whole Al-Qaeda/terrorism issue. In a recent interview on the subject CIA Director Leon Panetta said, “Pakistan was involved or incompetent.” So which is it? Do we support the terrorists or are we just stupid? Well,...
Herman Cain Focus Group: We Were Given Free Pizza...
Written by Sameul Travino, Focus Group Participant
Last night during the Republican Primary debate I was asked to participate in a scientific focus group led by Fox News personality Frank Luntz. As many of you witnessed, the group unanimously and unabashedly declared Herman Cain the unquestioned victor of the evening. Under the threat of death I am writing to let you know that the entire...
Pakistan: We Swear We Had No Idea Where Osama Was...
Written by Makhdoom Raza Ghurki, Pakistani Government Official
As a Pakistani government official I am offended that the US did not inform our government of last night’s operation to kill Osama Bin Laden until after it was over. We too have been looking for Bin Laden this whole time, we swear! We had no idea he was hiding in a gigantic Scarface-esque mansion on the outskirts of what is...
April 2011
8 posts
Birthers Face Identity Crisis: What Do We Do Now?
Written by William Burg, Attorney Who Filed Birther Lawsuits
I am a Birther. Today, in what has to be the single most startling revelation America has faced since McCarthy ousted Charlie Chaplin as a Communist, The Savior Barack Hussein Osama has somehow produced a complete and official Birth Certificate. Many would now say to us Birthers, ‘the game is over, pack your bags and go...
Shawshank Redemption 2: Taliban Nights
Over the past few weeks the Obama administration have been touting the improved security and stability of the Afghan government as they prepare to pull troops out of the country. Late last night, in what can only be described as outrageously discouraging news, the Taliban tunneled into a southern Afghani prison and freed 480 prisoners without a single bullet being fired. It is reported that the...
The Pope Tells Suffering World To 'Man Up'
The Pope, leader of the Catholic Church, made history on Friday by agreeing to a televised question and answer session on an Italian network. This story is important because the Pope, and the church in general, have a notorious history of not answering people’s questions. Normally the Pope acts in God’s image by sitting in an unreachable golden palace and refusing to answer anyone’s prayers. The...
BP Oil Spill One Year Later: Still No Sea Creature...
Written by Oscar Blunt, Texas Oil Tycoon
It’s been one year since the BP Gulf Oil Spill and I think the one thing we learned from this whole ordeal is that sea birds and sea fish are terrible entrepreneurs. On that fateful day in 2010 BP Oil generously donated 205 million gallons of oil to the sea community. One year later not one, not one, sea dolphin or sea whale has emerged as a...
Question of the Day: Is Jesse Jackson Jr. Stupid?
Last month Jesse Jackson Jr. came to Congress brandishing his new iPad and proposed that the government provide every child with ‘one of these devices.’ This month Jesse Jackson Jr. declared iPads as evil, anti-American machinations that are to be blamed for ‘eliminating thousands of American jobs.’ In one month’s time Jesse Jackson Jr. (or ‘Triple J’ as...
Rick Santorum Hates Langston Hughes
Former Senator Rick Santorum announced Thursday that he will be running for President in 2012. You might remember Rick Santorum from his rants where he equates homosexuality to incest or his attempts to bring a six year old girl into a Congressional debate to show that abortion is wrong. Well Rick Santorum is back in full swing running under the campaign slogan, ‘Fighting to Make America...
Congress Declares War on Wolves!
A rider has been attached to the hotly debated and controversial budget bill that will take the grey wolf off the endangered species list. Reports state that there are now at least 1,650 wolves in the Northern Rockies and apparently that’s way too many fucking wolves. Officials in Montana and Idaho are planning public hunts for the predators this fall which led one spokesperson to say,...
Mother Nature is a Terrorist
Written by Sid Lewis - Self-Proclaimed Scientist
The devastating terrorist attack orchestrated by Mother Nature last month in Japan has led many to question the safety of nuclear power in our volatile and unpredictable world. Mother Nature’s primary motive is to shake the foundations of humanity and destroy our freedom. We must continue to defy nature and show her that she will not...