BP Oil Spill One Year Later: Still No Sea Creature Oil Tycoons

Written by  Oscar Blunt, Texas Oil Tycoon

It’s been one year since the BP Gulf Oil Spill and I think the one thing we learned from this whole ordeal is that sea birds and sea fish are terrible entrepreneurs. On that fateful day in 2010 BP Oil generously donated 205 million gallons of oil to the sea community. One year later not one, not one, sea dolphin or sea whale has emerged as a viable oil industry entrepreneur.

It really is a wet slap in the face to the saint-like BP oil company. When a gift of this magnitude is so selflessly doled out it is the recipients responsibility to take full advantage. Well what did the sea community do? Nothing! They swam around in the liquid gold drunk with power until they died.

I thought sea dolphins were supposed to be smart! Now people are complaining that an ‘abnormal amount of oil drenched dolphins are appearing dead on the Gulf shoreline’. Well, what do you expect? That’s what you get when you expose a species to the concept of wealth for the first time in its existence.

How could the government punish BP for this!? It’s not their fault sea birds don’t know what to do with a business opportunity when it literally hits them in the face…and completely engulfs their body so they are unable to escape and eventually suffocate to death!

It’s been a year! A year! The experiment is over! The sea has failed us! Give BP back the right to drill for oil! Teach these ungrateful sea creatures a lesson. If they’re lucky maybe in a couple of years BP will give them another chance. Which is likely since nothing significant regarding oil drilling regulations has changed. But, until then, leave the greed to the experts. Take the oil rights back from the sea and give them to the good people at BP who will use that oil to pollute the planet in other more globally destructive and profitable ways!