Al Qaeda: We Are Not Ashamed of Threatening Obama’s Step-Grandmother

Written by  Fahid Shaikh Al-Mughassil, Al Qaeda Terrorist

After the death of the Sheikh! Osama bin Laden I have vowed to exact revenge on America. You might recall the official statement from AQAP saying, ‘What is waiting for you is far greater and more dangerous, and you will then count your regrets, wishing for the days of Osama.’ Well now our devious, world-destructing plan is revealed! We will kill Barack Obama’s Kenyan step-grandmother: Sarah Obama.

You killed our top leader. The face of our entire organization. His death was a crippling blow to our efforts So now we will kill someone who is just as important to you…your leader’s Kenyan step-grandmother.

With Barack Obama’s Kenyan step-grandmother out of the way America will no longer be able to function. It’s like fighting a three-headed serpent and then cutting off the head of one of the serpent’s aging Kenyan step-grandmothers. The serpent will be so saddened and depressed by the news he will stop killing terrorists with fighter drones.

Some dissenters have suggested going after bigger, more prominent figures. Well this is just the first in the line of many who will die by our hand. After Barack Obama’s Kenyan step-grandmother we will go after Joe Biden’s European real estate agent, and then Hillary Clinton’s nephew’s soccer coach. The effect’s of these losses will be so severe America will crumble from within!

It is inevitable! We will kill that old, helpless lady who is simply living out her humble life in peace. The only thing that can stop us now is if she dies of natural causes first! She is 88 years old after all. So the race is on! Who will find her first!? Al Qaeda? Or the natural progression of human life!?