Crackheads Need Welfare Money Too, Florida

Written by Dipper, Crackhead/Florida Native

Hello. I am from Florida. I am on welfare. I smoke crack. Fuck you. I’ve never written a blog before. But I know what a computer is. So fuck you. Our goblin looking Governor Rick Scott is making adults applying for welfare get drug tested. So now if I fail a drug test then POOF no more welfare checks.

Do you know what will happen if you stop giving welfare money to a bunch of drug addicts? That’s right! They won’t be able to afford drugs. Now we’re talking thousands of crackheads all getting off crack at once. That’s thousands of hungry, cold, crackless crackheads going through withdrawl, roaming the hot streets of our nations peeper. It’ll be like a zombie apocalypse! We’ll be crawling the streets demanding crack and bread and chocolate if available!

The bald orc leader, Rick Scott is sending Florida into a zombie apocalypse all because he wants crackheads to be more responsible. He wants welfare funds to go to children. Well I have children! They’re on crack. So now what? You’re gonna starve little kids just because they love sweet crack? My boy will eat Mickey Mouse’s face if he doesn’t get crack. You’re killing us!

You don’t know what you’re doing Mr. Scott. Great Scott. Scooter Libby. Drug users need welfare money. In facts! Drug users should get welfare more than anyone. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to Florida. First you’ll give us drug tests, then we won’t have crack, then 28 Days Later you’ll wake up in a deserted hospital and find that everyone in the state of Florida has moved to Miami where drugs are pretty much always available.