Only YOU Can Prevent Mexicans From Starting Forest Fires
Written by Smokey The Racist Bear, Forest Fire Prevention Spokesbear
Hello! It’s me Smokey the Racist Bear here to remind you about the dangers of filthy, freeloading Mexicans and their incessant need to burn down America’s wild lands. Sadly, my reminder may be coming a bit too late. As we speak wildfires are raging across Arizona leading Sen. John McCain to unequivocally prove using the scientific method of racist assumptions that Mexicans are to blame for the tragedy. That’s right. It’s definitely Mexicans. Job-stealing, burrito-eating Mexicans came into our country with no motive other than to destroy the home of me and my bird friends.
Many are asking Sen. McCain and I the same question: What evidence do you have to support your claim that Mexicans are to blame for this fire? Well, it’s a simple case of problematic correlation. Mexicans are in Arizona. Wildfires are in Arizona. Mexicans are terrible. Wildfires are terrible. Therefore Mexicans started the wildfires. It’s simple logic.Plus, it is no secret around Arizona that Mexicans like it hot. Look at their food. Hot Tamales. Jalapeno Poppers. Volcano Tacos. Those hair-gel globbing Mexicans want nothing more than to turn this entire planet into a hell-hole of fire. In fact, three out of five Mexicans that I ate because I’m a bear, gave me heartburn. And before I ate them they declared, ‘Ayuda! Ayuda! Este oso es racista comer a mi familia!’ Which I’m pretty sure means, ‘I prefer Global Warming!’
As Sen. McCain dutifully pointed out, ‘They have set fires because they signal others, they have set fires to keep warm, and they have set fires in order to divert law enforcement agents and agencies from them.’ It’s just like a donkey-riding Mexican to use fire to survive in the wilderness while being hunted down like dogs. Why can’t you just use your iPhones to call your lost wife? Why can’t you keep warm by checking into a Comfort Inn? Why can’t you divert law enforcement agents by hiring a high-powered DC attorney?
The only solution to this problem is to keep the tiny moustachioed Mexicans from entering our country. We must protect our borders to keep Mexicans from destroying America. Sen. McCain and I are not using this tragedy to garner popular support for an unrelated political issue. We are simply pointing out the facts. Mexicans cause forest fires.
