The Lady Who Spilled Wine on Glenn Beck Deserves To Die

Written by  Grant Donaldson, Glenn Beck Loyalist

On Monday night a couple of devious, lefty-liberal WHORES came within inches of murdering Glenn Beck and his entire family as they quietly and peacefully watched Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps at Bryant Park Movie Night in New York. Since then Glenn Beck loyalists, such as myself, have been dutifully harassing the 25-year-old vandal over the Internet in an effort to exact expedient revenge for the atrocities the ever-innocent Godsend Glenn Beck had to endure.

We have already forced the she-devil to take down all of her social media accounts and have barraged her with hateful emails but this still does not rectify the equivalent of a wine-infused water-torture to which Glenn Beck’s angel of a wife was submitted. We must move this front onward! Glenn Beck loyalists: It is time to put our words into action. We must find out where this gay marriage loving, free healthcare wanting socialist lives and destroy her.

Glenn Beck has said himself that the Liberal scum at Bryant Park, ‘were some of the most hateful people he’s ever seen.’ Everyone knows that spilling a glass of wine on someone at a park is the equivalent of engaging in a Holocaust on your entire family. Jesus Christ himself, bleeding and beaten on the cross would have turned the other cheek aghast as ‘they rushed to clean up the wine, apologized, and left Beck and his family alone.’

And for such an event to occur only three days prior to Glenn Beck’s final day on air at Fox News. What a shame it is that these last few days had to be spent investigating the motives of two fiendish liberals who plotted to drown Beck’s wife and murder his child with poison. But Fox News is a news media outlet after all and Glen Beck must report the news. So we apologize to the thousand people who were injured in Egypt yesterday, and to the people murdered in a terrorist attack in Kabul on Tuesday but, someone spilled half a glass of wine on a novelty blanket and quite frankly, that’s more important than you.