Best and Worst 2012 Super Bowl Ads

February 06, 2012

Best and Worst 2012 Super Bowl Ads

This Superbowl might go down as one of the greatest in history but, did the commercials hold up to the quality of the game? Eh, I think not. This year didn’t have a stand-out commercial like last year with ‘The Force’. (A commercial that is still getting play on YouTube.) I still don’t know what GE wants from me or how I can help the people in their commercials, and if you bet the over on how many times they’d show you that Asian guy in a tub of gold coins you won by a landslide. Here are my Top 5 favorite, and Bottom 5 Least Favorite Super Bowl commercials from this year:

TOP 5

#5 - Chevy - ‘Clint Eastwood Halftime’
2 Minute long Clint Eastwood halftime pep talk, I’ll take it! Clint Eastwood should give America a halftime pep talk every year. The one thing I don’t like is that he’s saying it’s Halftime for America. Which means in 250 years this country will cease to exist. Other than that, Clint Eastwood should run for President.

#4 - Kia Optima - ‘Sandman Sweet Dreams’
Did anyone think the first woman was Julia Louis-Dreyfuss? Great cameos from Adriana Lima, Motley Crue, and Chuck Liddell. Also giant sandwich with a thumbs up from a lumberjack was a great touch. I want to see that couple two years from now when their Kia breaks down and they have the following argument, ‘I should’ve just stayted with Steve! He knew how to ride a horse!’ ‘Oh great, you’re gonna bring up Steve again? I could’ve f*ed Adriana Lima!!! I had to drive through dream space to get you and you’re gonna give me shit!’

#3 - Bud Light - ‘Here We Go Dog’
I like the message here. Help rescue dogs. But also, don’t enslave your rescue dogs and make them constantly work. That dog did not get one treat the entire commercial. And then at the end they strand the dog on the raft and give him beer. Don’t feed your rescue dogs beer, people! Either way the commercial was fun to watch.

#2 - MetLife - ‘Cartoon Characters’
How good did all those cartoon characters look on the real world backdrop? Also strategically placing Waldo in the back of many of the shots was a nice touch. I still don’t know who the little guy was who got out of the limo with Daphne but, she’s way too tall for him. Bring back hand-drawn movies, please!

#1 - Volkswagen - ‘The Dog Strikes Back’
This is one of the only commercials this year that made me feel pure joy. When that dog can’t fit through the doggy door in the beginning it might be the cutest thing the world has ever known. This dog deserves an Oscar for his performance and he proved that he can do more with a fat suit in one minute than Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy can do in four full-length movies.

BOTTOM 5

#5 - Careerbuilder.Com - ‘Chimps’
Okay, enough is enough. Think of a new commercial! I remember the first time I saw your working with chimps ad I was like, ‘This commercial is original and funny, oh before you go did you remember to tape Ally McBeal?’

#4 - Go Daddy - ‘Body Paint’
We know Danica Patrick is never gonna get naked okay, so what’s the point of all this? I’ve been to the website…turns out its not a manly woman porn site! They sell domain names! Wow, that is misleading. Also, I don’t like how Go Daddy assumes that heterosexual men are the only people who buy domain names. Women are allowed to use the Internet too Go Daddy, try advertising to them every once in a while. And if you want to create an ad that people will masturbate to then take a look at Adriana Lima’s Teleflora commercial and learn from the best.

#3 - Samsung Galaxy Note - ‘Street Party’
What are these people waiting in line for? And if waiting in line was so important that they’d miss the SuperBowl I doubt they’d all get off just because what appears to be a homeless man starts playing Darkness covers. And they would think its a homeless man because no one knows/cares what the members of The Darkness look like. Samsung assures us that that was in fact The Darkness but I guess we’ll have to take their word for it. Plus the three cities were Denver, San Fransisco, and Boston…so what is Brian Urlacher doing there? He’s a Chicago Bear. Either way I liked the way the commercial predicted the future by showing three towns that are home to losing playoff teams.

#2 - Pepsi Max - ‘Coke Rep Winner’
I don’t care about any of this. I don’t care that Regis Filbin is back, I don’t care about your weird problems Pepsi Max guy. If you like Pepsi Max so much just quit your job and work for them. Stop being a weirdo.

#1 - Pepsi - ‘Elton John / Flava Flav’
Okay so in this scene Elton John is a gay dictator who is battling the obesity epidemic by stopping everyone form drinking Pepsi. Then X Factor winner Melanie Amaro comes in says she’s gonna sing and Elton scoffs at her. Which is ridiculous. Scoffing at a sassy black woman because she says she can sing is like scoffing at a 13-year old Romanian teenager because she says she can do a back flip. So to get revenge Melanie destroys priceless stained glass art work and murders him. Great. And then of course Flava Flav is in the dungeon because he looks like a rat but for some reason they let him keep a 40 pound golden clock.